Seguidilla

Emo post. Don't bother reading. It's full of self-pity & crap like that, so I suggest you go 'way.

I'm so tired. I'm more like an ex-M.O.P.er now. So what if I passed KI? Failed Physics like shit. I'd rather exchange my physics marks with my KI marks. Even though they mod the physics grades, I don't think I'll pass. Unless the cohort did spectacularly bad. Right.

I don't know whether I should appeal for KI at all. I mean, the only thing I did relatively well for was Logic & even that was 18/30. My language was the one good thing outta Epistemology, 4.5/5. Then overall 13/30. Am I killing myself by taking KI? Confused abt it. Despite what was said, I've never done well doe section A so I don't know why the teachers say that & I'm sorry I've disappointed them in that area. I love KI much more than GP, it's interesting & makes you think. Also, the KI people are in general nicer than the GP people in my class. I don't hate my class, they're alright. But it's like, the Seven. It's always been the 7 of us & each of us have an individual role during lessons.

Fahmi's the hardworking one who comes up with strong points & fights for them.
Louiza is the dark horse who suddenly brings up valid points outta nowhere.
Izhar's the funny joker who has this wide spectrum of knowledge, just that he doesn't know the terms.
Nan is the one who's most well-versed in Logic & fights for her points too.
Jean is the most consistent out of all of us, coming up with arguments & doing well in tests.
Shannon is the one who applies her experiences to her essays & everything & my fellow stoner.
Me? I dunno what I am, cos I don't observe myself. Omg, why am I violet?!

It'll be weird if one of us leaves.
Should I appeal beg for KI together with Louiza? 'Cause she failed her H2 [math] & so her situation's like mine. Speaking of Math, I lost 7 marks [& an 'A'] due to careless mistakes, but I'm just glad I passed. There was one failure in KI. So, what? 4 outta 7 originals left? I don't know what to do for IS even if I continue with KI in year 2. When Mr Tan remarked on the "pained expression" on my face after giving out the papers, I was thinking, "so when do I tell you I failed a H2 already? Why do you think I've a pained expression?"

I couldn't be bothered after KI, whether I failed Lit, Chinese or Geog. Just can't bring myself to care anymore. For Lit, I think with CA marks, I'll pass with E. Then Chinese was my 2nd best sub, I can't bloody believe it. It's a C? What's 55.4%? Wth. Predictably, I failed Physical Geog but passed Human Geog quite well, so in the end I still got a D I think. KI was 53%. Physics.. just switch the 2 digits of KI percentage. That's how bad it is.

So don't tell me it's okay, cos it's fricking obvious it's NOT & when you say that your own results aren't good it's just sounds condescending, you know? Like what Shannon said, if you said that you suck, but then my grade was lower, are you trying to say I'm stupid? Yep. And stop complaining about your results, you scored bloody well. Just be glad you passed everything right? Don't rub in the fact that you got an average of C overall by whining about how you did so badly. Hello, then what am I? A retard? It seems inevitable that there will be even more extreme Jin Wens & Mabels [not that they're bad] in TPJC. Nvm. So be it. Heck care.

I'm not telling my parents the promo results. Like, DUH. I leaked out my Math grade of 64% yest & they nearly killed/disowned me already, what makes you think I'll be that stupid to tell them the others? We haven't been on good terms since way before promos so there's no "love" lost btwn us. I dunno la... They scold us for not talking to them [O_o], for using the computer whenever we're at home [obviously they rarely look into our room] & a whole plethora of other things. When we try to talk to them, the conversation inevitably steers into 'education' & then we get reprimanded for every single one of our mistakes. They also constantly hint how disappointed they are in me for not getting into VJC/TJC. "Haven't you learnt your lesson?" is one of the milder stuff.

Why do you think I blog so much? Typing's easy, yes, so is talking. I've only got Stick to talk to properly & even so, I don't tell her everything. Wtfreak la. I'm really confused. And there's the stupid CL Anchor test tmr. 3 hours in the haunted LT 5. If in TPJC I suck to the core already, then at the national level I think I'm in the negative regions. Should I just go to Poly with Ken & Yong? I wanna give up & at the same time, I wanna give up giving up. Whatever the teachers told me, I am not scholarship material. 4 'A's? Hah, what a joke. Even if I put in my best I'll never get that.

The injections for OCIP today were painful. Ouch. One on each arm. =(((((( It just gets better & better. [sarcasm detector goes wild]

CCA resumed yest. Ensemble was fun. I missed the guitar room, the guitar people & guitar music. G1 is totally changed, Asri is gone, there's g5 now & everyone's reshuffled. Guitar 1: Me, Meiyin, Jiehui, Jieyun & Edelia. :) We can do well! Habanera's okay, just need practice.